The most startling feature of this artwork is the faces drawn on each person. Mom is smiling, dad is sad, child to the left has no expression and youngest child appears to be saying something. Parents are each leaning. Dad is facing more backward and somewhat leaning. Mom is facing more forward and tilted toward a wall that the youngest child is standing against. Or, is this a barrier between the parents and children? 

Seemingly, there is artistic disparity among the objects. Each family member appears to be copied while the house is rudimentary.  A curious presentation of a family and home.  

#443, A Changed Family

Categories: A Child’s View, Impact on child

One picture is worth a thousand words.  An underlying theme of unhappy comes through loud and clear. The unhappy face of this child is front and center. She is barely touching the hands of each parent. Both parents appear to be standing in front of their perspective homes although mom is taller. Parental facial expressions indicate no emotion. The black jagged line behind her and under dad’s house is prominent. Does this indicate turmoil? Mom’s house appears to be closer, is brightly colors and on top of the dark line. While we can only guess at the meaning of some objects there appears to be no discrepancy in how this little girl feels…unhappy.

#442 Unhappy

Categories: A child’s view, Impact on child

This artist shares the heartache of her parent’s divorce: “Today, May 5th, 2017, would have been my mother and father’s 15th wedding anniversary… But they got a divorce about 3 1/2 years ago. Every year, I still celebrate their anniversary to remember the great times we had as a loving family, and to remember how great of a couple my parents were.”

#441, Dying Love

http://crimedragon.deviantart.com/art/Dying-Love-679012317

Parental divorce upsets and resets an adolescents’ family life.   This adolescent captures the trauma of her parents’ divorce.  Her heartfelt feelings are revealed in her words and art: “Everyone should see what a child goes through during a divorce, and I am one of the children going through the middle of it.”

į̶̼͉̥͇͗͜’̴̲̯̭͓͎̽̔͊̉͝m̶̢̢̠͐́̾̓ ̵͍͎̰̣͙̼͘j̴̧͉̈͋̓̈́̂u̶̢̡̼͙͎̖̿̊̂s̴̝͚̘̰͂̎͗͆͜ͅt̶̺̬̂ ̶̥͚̼̲͊a̵̠̣̠͍̫͝ ̵̧̢͕̟̤͔̓͐̂̔s̷̘͛̆̇̕l̵̥͚̉̐a̴͉̔̈́̀̈́͂̐v̵̯͈̀̀͝e̵̺̘͖̞͛́͑ ̶̡͔̖̩͑͑̓̌̚ț̸̊̀́͂́ͅo̸͍̰̿̀͑̈́͊͝ ̷͍̌͑̓͒͝͝t̵̡̧̗̤̬̊̔͒͝ͅh̸̟̙̋͂̐̊͂ȩ̷͎̪͍̼̎̓͊̓̇ ̶͕̰̟̜͂ͅt̸̖̤̱̍͂͜r̷̓̓̏̄͑ͅa̷̮͓̘̳̐̊̚ű̴̺̔̑͜͝ḿ̷͈̐͆̈́̋a̷̫̋̿̈́͝,̶̺̣̜̘̌̏̒̕ ̸̲̝̙̿͌̊͗̎͐i̸̖̯̤͓̫͕̾͋ţ̷̡̱͙̓͋͝ ̴̥́̈́̒c̶̬͖̯̪̲͖̎̈́̓̈͝͠o̶̩̬̥̬͆͌̅̿͒̑ņ̷̨͍̰̝̱̆̇̅t̶̛͈̱̦̘͖̙͛ŕ̶̳̭͇̥̥̯̉͛̅̏ơ̷̧̰̘͂͐͘̚͝ļ̴̩̈́͂ş̷̥̤̃̈́ ̷̡̪͉̰͝m̸̧͍̱͕̰̣̽̽̇ȩ̸͆͐͗̄ ̶̻̌̿̆̓̒͋w̷̼͎̼̦̲̆͆̀͘̚h̷̬̭̖̊̽͘ĕ̶̹̀̋̓͘͝ͅn̴̢̽̐͛̐ ̶̡̧̛̙̣̝̽́̀̈́̚͜i̶̦͒ ̸̢̧̜̠͖̪̔͘d̶̨̠̠͛̀̂ő̴̲͍̔̓̿͝͝ ̸̟̘̑̓̕ǹ̴̰̖̟̳̼̔̋͒͌͜ò̷̒̽̃́̚ͅͅţ̸̼̱̩̈͗ ̴̘̔͠w̸̢̦̪̘̓͌͊͛̾͗â̶̮̮͋̈́̀ṅ̶̤͚̳t̴͙̔̓͛͠ ̴̢̛͇̩̟̏͛͋̆̐ì̵̡̘̌̅͂͠t̸͍̹͉͂͑ ̷͇̖͚̾̋ͅͅt̵̡͕͍̠̞̎͂ö̶̧̜̦̣́͝͝.̴̦̤͝ ̸͔͎͚̮̱͎̏̈́i̸̫͛̂̍̒̚͘ ̴͓̊̋̀h̵̢̜̩̒̃̋͆a̶̖̓̈́̕t̴̝̳͛̃̀̕ė̸̞̎́̆̆͘͜ ̴̆̾͊̌͂͜͠ȉ̴̢̡̧̛͙̦̈̆͌͊ť̵̛̞͎͓̫̿͗̋,̵̻͑̾̆́̕͘ ̵̹̿̈̚ä̴̞̙́͛̇̓̔ṅ̴̛͖̬̥̘͌̚͝d̸̢͈̼͚̯̬̂̓̿͝ ̷̳̺̏̏ȋ̷̦̟͖̞͍̺̓́̓t̶̨̼͈͆̈́̿̇ ̶̣̝̑̂̂̕͝ḧ̶̻̪̝̥̩̠́̿͑̕ḁ̸̰̓͂͂͠ṱ̴̯́͐͒̽̄̕ͅe̸͇̖̺͔͒s̸̨͕̾̏͝ ̷̥̟͖͎͐̆̚ͅm̸̠̓͘͝ë̶͚̲̠̳̙́́̽̿.̵̝͉̻͓́́́̐ ̵̜̂̅́̔͝i̵͎̹̍̍̇̄̎t̵̼̮̭̃̓́̉̓ ̶̱̳̀t̵͈̄̄͒͋̇e̴͈͙͚̾̽̔̀å̵̮͚̫̞͙̓͛̐r̷͕͙͖͎̂͛̒͗͒̃s̵͎̺̿̃͗ ̶̟̝̳͚̭͠m̷͇̘̰͚̦̓̓̑̆̓e̶͔̝͓͎̓́̋̓̔ ̸͎̣̑͐a̵̡̼̣̽p̵̧̨͎̥̖͕͑̾̓͑͠a̴̛͔͖͍̤̫̾͂̉̃ŕ̷̳̬̘̯̌͌̿̓͝t̷̡̙̰̹̹̣̓͌͘ ̷̲͇̌̏͆̓́̎f̵̺̝̙͙̫͖̂̀r̵̩͙̬̆̓̂̎̚͝o̵̦͓͖̊̈́̃́͘ͅm̸̡̠͔͕̰̽̎͠ ̵̧͉͕͓͐̆̅̌͠t̵̺̗̀̚h̸̯̖͈͉̑͊͘e̴̩̲̣͗ ̵̡̢͍̖̒͌̅i̸͕̦̗̒ͅn̵̖͓͍̞͌̾̉͝ş̵̈͒̓͂̍į̶̘͉̦́̈́̚͝d̷̰̩͎̗̎̆e̴̟͈̣̎͂̓͝͝ͅ ̸̙̤̳̪̼̳̐̎̋ḁ̴̆̈́̓̓ṋ̶̗͚̒͛͒̋͠d̴͎̯̾̚ ̶̳̈͑͐̅͠i̴̜̓̈́ ̷̪̲͒͑̆ḁ̴̑̀̔m̶̹̜̣̆̓̃͆̅ ̴̱͕̮̓͂̎́͗͝ḟ̸͗̃͂̓͜o̶͎̞͋͑̈́̔̎̓͜r̸̯̮̓̊ć̸̯e̷̖̜̪̼̍͑͘d̶͖̰̗̺͛̒͜ ̸̨͚̈t̷̲͑̄͑̂̚͝o̸̥̫͖͂̍ ̸̼͖̐͋̉͐ķ̴͔̥̱̮̎̄e̸̦͇̺̓̀̓͒̉e̵̟͐̌̈́̄͠ͅp̸̯̌͆̾̓ ̵̭͉̟͆̑̈́ͅȃ̴͉̭̫̲̩̽̄̽͠ ̸̮͖̐͒̉̒̏s̸̥̼̦͓̱̮͐̃͐m̶̻̬͗͗̔̂̉͝i̶̛̘̮̯͈͜l̶͚̳̎̓̈́͘é̵͙̬̙͕̂ ̵̞͔͗̈́o̸̳̦̭̅̈́͐͊n̶̙̭̎̒̊̏̏̑͜ ̸̺͙͙̒͌̏͝m̵̧̗̱̝͆̋̊y̵̞̬͐̉̍̍̽ ̵̣̃̈͠f̸̧̥͍̠͓̻̎̋̆̋ȧ̶̱̬̻̖̗̎̆c̴̨̡̨̗͇̳͝ę̶̛̦͇̪̂̇ ̸̥̋͌w̸̖͈̒ḩ̵̦̻̬̗́͆̿͝ȩ̴͚̺̺̣̩̒̑n̸̩̳͙͂̋͒͒̐̄ ̶̪̰̐̄̐̈́͆i̸̤͊̊͠ ̷̱͌f̴̰͎̹̠̈́̏̍̌̕͠e̸̳̖͉͛͋͛͝ë̴̡̢͈̣̠̲́͠l̵̫̘̰̫̜͚̑̇͐̈́̔͠ ̸̢͖͇͎̝̠̌̍̉͐͊̕s̶̤̆̌̂̔͌̓c̵̣͐́͠ą̸̖͓̜͇̎̄̏͛r̸͍͌̐͝e̵̱͉̦̚d̴͈̝̙̺͈̰̀̀̾̅ ̶͕͐́̾̑a̵̧̗̱̺̲̦̍̇̑̊n̷̛̹͗͗̃d̵̨͔̹͎̰͉̃͑̕̚͠͝ ̶̛̪͉̃̋a̶̭͉͎͗̈́͊̏l̶͔̼̲̠̱̣̎̃̓̒͝o̴̞̻͍͆̐́̈͝͠n̷̪͚̊͗̓̄͆̉ẽ̷̫͈̟͓̲̦̊.̷̢̻̰͗

“If you couldn’t read that, it says this “I’m just a slave to the trauma, it controls me when I do not want it to. I hate it, and it hates me. It tears me apart from the inside and I am forced to keep a smile on my face when I feel scared and alone.”

̴̋̐̕

“As seen in the picture, there are two versions of my personality sewn together to create what most of you know as me. ” 

“The first, is what I really feel like, a jumble of emotions that need to be let out but I keep hidden because it would just upset the people around me. The second, is the version of me that I pretend to be. I pretend to be happy all of the time so my friends will not worry. I pretend to have fun when I really need to go to a therapist and let out my emotions, but my family will not let me. I’ve ‘constructed‘ a version of me that people will like and not stress about, which is the me that resides on DeviantArt.”

“Sorry about the vent. I’m going through a rough time (mother and father divorcing, they’re bringing me into it because I am the eldest of two children and the only one who knows what is going on.”

A poignant depiction of divorce. My heart goes out to her.  Her art is extremely captivating and her words indicate she is wiser beyond her years. Curiously, how would her creativity  be revealed if she were able to focus on just being an adolescent without the divorce drama between her parents. Seemingly, she is put in the middle of an adult matter: Divorce is between the parents-About the child!

Deviant Art: Slave to the Trauma

Link: http://drawtheearth.deviantart.com/art/Slave-to-the-trauma-C-PTSD-VENT-GORE-WARNING-670749790

#440, Slave to the Trauma

Category: A Child’s View, Impact on child

A sad depiction of divorce! This sun and child reveal sad faces.  The child is being pulled in two directions between mom and dad. Note how the child seems closer to the mom and moms arm is much longer than dads. Does this indicate a stronger bond with mom, is mom more forceful or does the child want her to reach out? Regardless of the child’s thoughts both parents seem angry.  

#437, Pulled

The narrative for this character indicates the parents were too busy arguing over left over family matters and money – which really just stressed this child out even further. Home wasn’t a place he felt comfortable nor happy in, and those harsh, ringing words his parents would throw at each other made him flinch. Still, he’d pretend everything was fine when questioned by others, he’d either keep his head low, or keep a faint smile on his face while he said “it’s going to be alright.”

This characters parents’ eventually divorced when he hit his tenth birthday, since the frequent quarrels tore them apart and they couldn’t just put down their pride for each other. His mother moved back to her home country. His father stayed because of work. This child had to make trips back and forth between them whenever holidays rolled around. Just imagine some skinny kid alone at the airport dragging his luggage around, staring at the planes that lifted off while waiting for his flight. This was his vacation. Sometimes he’d make friends on the plane with the person sitting next to him. Sometimes that would make him forget that he was always on the trip alone.

This character, at age 15, spiraled down. Started hanging around with the wrong crowd in school, got into smoking, petty theft, dyed his hair, got his ears pierced, trying out stunts that might have easily gotten him killed but hey, he didn’t care if it did at that time. These were all feats to defy his strict father and the shackles of expectation placed on him, and to taste freedom for himself. The silence at his father’s house became worse. Eden started coming home less.

At age 18 this character experiences a chain of events led him to do volunteer work, and that brought out a positive change in him after a few months. He decided to get himself together again- quit smoking, stop stealing, try to get along with everyone else, and made plans to move out on his own. 

The artist shares that at nineteen years of age, this character  doing …alright. But he still doesn’t know what’s there to live for. Still as lost as ever. 

Divorce and disruption in a child’s upbringing changes everything.

#435 Ohana means…

Deviant Art: Ohana means… by Memphis-Rex.

http://memphis-rex.deviantart.com/art/Ohana-Means-645369309

This artist reveals the emotional aspect of divorce and parental conflict. A sad child with large blue tears is trying to cover their face and ears-possibly to drown out the fighting.  Notice, that even the blue cover has a sad face with bewildering eyes and a forlorn look.  This child seems to be holding the cap very tightly to keep the sound out.  I hope the parents stop fighting soon.  

The artist shares the lyrics of a song below the picture.  Undoubtedly, these are the thoughts of too many children experiencing parental conflict. 

Excellent representation of divorce from the child’s view point.

Song lyrics

Four years old
With my back to the door
All I could hear
Was the family war
Your selfish hands
Always expecting more
Am I your child?
Or jut a charity award?

You have a hollowed out heart
But it’s heavy in your chest
I tried so hard to fight it but it’s hopeless
Hopeless
You’re hopeless
Oh father
Please father
I’d love to leave you alone
But I can’t let you go
Oh father
Please father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter

It’s been five years
Since we’ve spoken last
And you can’t take back
What we never had
I can be manipulated
Only so many times
Before even I Love You
Starts to sound like a lie

You have a hollowed out heart
But it’s heavy in your chest
I tried so hard to fight it but it’s hopeless
Hopeless
You’re hopeless
Oh father,
Please father
I’d love to leave you alone
But I can’t let you go
Oh father
Please father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter

Don’t you remember I’m your baby girl?
How you push me our of your world?
Lied to your flesh and your blood
Put your hands on the ones that you swore ou loved
Don’t you remember I’m your baby girl?
How could you throw me right out of your world?

This young artist shares their experience with parental divorce.  Most prominently, each parent is on opposite sides.  Walls on the divider have jagged edges.  Note, there are more sharp points on dad’s side-perhaps indicating additional grief and heartache.  In the middle of the page, a very dark face appears in the center of the ravine.  Broken red hearts are sprinkled throughout the pic.  Curiously, there are more hearts in a straight line on dad’s side.  

Note at the bottom of the page sends a clear message to the parents.  

#417, Content in the Middle

I/A Child’s view

Parental conflict can wreak havoc in a child’s life.  Research is consistent in showing that high parental conflict during divorce has a negative effect on the child. A girl drew a picture of her family as a volleyball net with Team 1 and Team 2.  The word FAM ILY  reveals the divide she feels between her parents. Her mother is on one side and her father on the other side.

I wonder if these parents are aware that their daughter describes experience in their divorce as ‘she is a volley ball.’

#415, FAM / ILY

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