This shows how anger is passed on in the family. This child is demonstrating the emotions observed in the home. If a child is raised in a home where one parent constantly criticizes and belittles the other, the child learns to criticize and belittle others and themselves. Sadly, the negative perception is considered ‘normal behavior’ and carries over into new relationships. 

High conflict divorces may complicate how the child deals with conflict. No one is born with an anger problem. Anger and aggressive response styles are learned behaviors.  

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Pic from post on FB page for Dr Kaylene Henderson- Child Psychiatrist, Feb 26, 2015.

Post link:  https://www.facebook.com/drkaylenehenderson/photos/pb.340509142667649.-2207520000.1427041318./865966270121931/?type=3&theater

FB page link: https://www.facebook.com/drkaylenehenderson

#86, Legacy of Anger

This drawing is one artists’ view of divorce and is called “reflection of divorce.”  Note, the words are in French; This speaks to the global issues of custody and the turmoil of divorce for the child. 

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Giorgio Ceccarelli, La MOSTRA dei QUADRI di Roberto Gallo, 2-27-2015 on Facebook page Festa del Papa.

https://www.facebook.com/giorgio.ceccarelli1?fref=ts&ref=br_tf

#84, Maman et Papa

The journey of divorce changes everyone and everything.  The most compelling comment in this writing is by far “I hate to see kids worry about their parents when they should be  developing childhood stories and memories.”  This is the  sadness of divorce! The child, oftentimes, is nudged in the direction of dealing with the adult issues of divorce.

I once heard Darren Hardy of Success magazine speak. He said, “that in order to find your message, you need to know what you hate.”

I hate, really deeply and to my core hate to see real men of integrity go through the journey of divorce and behave badly, in a way not consistent with their character.

I hate the way the people around us behave as we take the journey of divorce. I hate the rumors. I hate the taking sides and slanderous talk. I hate the bad advice. I hate the way kids are damaged. I hate the way kids are used as pawns. I hate the way kids are used as property. I hate to see kids worry about their parents when they should be developing childhood stories and memories.

I hate the typical legal battles that are all about winning in terms of assets and property. I hate it when successful guys fight over something like paying for private school, or college,or clothes, or whatever. If they planned on paying before divorce, why would they not pay after divorce?

I hate to see real men demasculinized by the process and by the humbling nature of something that seems like such a failure. It is the “what’s wrong with me” syndrome.

I hate to see real men looking and feeling lost.

I hate the way men that truly love women start hating women. I hate it when love is transformed into hate.

I hate the question, “so why did you get divorced?” as if there was a simple answer. The answer goes very deep into our being, and is only superficially explained with one of the so-called “top ten reasons for divorce”

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Shared from Cliff Thomas, Why I Hate Divorce.

Post link:http://drcliffthomas.com/why-i-hate-divorce-2/

Site link: drcliffthomas.com

#81 ,  Why I Hate Divorce

One mom shares her story about meeting in the middle for the sake of her son.

My ex-husband and I had little love for each other in our last months of marriage, both of us wounded, both of us in tears, both of us heartbroken. If there weren’t a child, we’d have put each other away like an old rag, either tossed in the garbage, shoved way back in a cupboard, or maybe burned to a crisp. It could have ended with us destroying each other out of spite. But there was a child. Jake. And we couldn’t ruin him with bitterness.

Yet how do two people who have no need for each other raise a son? I had no idea. When my lawyer recommended that we see a co-parenting counselor, a type of therapist I’d never heard of, I did what I always do when I need perspective: I called my mother.

“You’re divorcing him for a reason, Hayley,” my mother said. “You’re not supposed to get along with your ex-husband, otherwise you’d still be together.”

“But I want to be friends with him, like you and Dad are,” I said.

“It took years for your father and me, you know that,” she said. “So don’t create a fantasy about my relationship with your father.”

She was right. My parents’ split was messy. As much as my mother attempted to shield me from a lot of the hurt,  they still fought, and like many couples, they made their share of mistakes. It took ten years, but eventually, my parents managed to share low-calorie cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving and brisket on Passover.

Still, when my own divorce struck, I was determined not to repeat their missteps. So I broached the subject of seeing this special kind of therapist with my soon-to-be ex-husband. He was more than familiar with my childhood divorce stories and was immediately open to the idea. When we scheduled an introductory session with Paul Dasher, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, it was the first thing we’d agreed on in months.

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.“Raising Healthy, Happy Kids Through a Divorce”, Parenting.com, by Hayley Krischer.  March 2015

http://www.parenting.com/article/raising-healthy-happy-kids-through-a-divorce

#74, Meeting in the Middle

This artist shares the heartache of divorce in “In the Event of Divorce Cut Here.”

(Words in the lower left corner read the title,  “In the Event of Divorce Cut Here”)

“In the Event of Divorce Cut Here”  artwork created by BANKSY (B.1975)

christies.com/in the event of divorce

Artwork listed:  Sale 2357 Lot 333 Post-War and Contemporary Afternoon Session.  11 November 2010.  New York, Rockefeller Plaza.  Estimate $20,000-$30,000.

#67.  “Cut Here”