An adult child of divorce talks about his pain and suffering when he was abducted by his mother.  He uses his experience to advocate for stricter laws to prevent other children from the horrors he suffered. 

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A Rochester man who suffered through parental abduction as a child was in Albany on Tuesday to fight for tougher laws that will prevent other children going through a similar trauma.

Scott Berne is pushing for tougher legislation against parental abductions.

“My mother did not serve one day of jail time for kidnapping me,” Berne said. “Thirty years ago, it’s the same law.  It’s a slap on the wrist.”

“This is an issue with enormous long term consequences for children,” said Assemblywoman Shelley Mayer, D-Yonkers.

Berne joined and state Sen. Patty Ritchie, co-sponsors of the Custodial Interference/Recovery of Missing Children Act.

“It really changes the dynamic pretty dramatically, and it puts us in a better position to protect kids when those laws are enhanced,” said Ed Suk, National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

According to the Justice Department, 200,000 children are abducted by their parents each year in the U.S., but in New York state, it’s just a misdemeanor.

“During those two years, we changed names constantly, didn’t go to school, had no friends, faced constant abuse from her,” Berne said.

Berne hopes his story can help change that.

“Hearing other cases is very frustrating.  Here we are 31 years later and the laws in New York State are not strong enough to keep kids safe,” Berne said.

In the early 1980s, Berne’s story made national headlines. Today, Scott works in real estate in Rochester. He’s also a strong advocate for children’s rights.

“The idea they can take their child, leave the state, the country and put their child at risk is unacceptable.”

Berne has been here before to testify on the subject.  He and lawmakers are again making a push.

“It is humbling. Gratitude, absolute gratitude that I survived and now I can use them here 31 years later in keeping kids safe, so other children don’t have to go through what I experienced.”

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Rochester NY, TWC News, by Seth Voorhees, May 19, 2015

Link with video: http://www.twcnews.com/nys/rochester/news/2015/05/19/parental-abduction-laws-.html fb_action_ids=1598196503766586&fb_action_types=og.shares

#118, Experience with PAS

One of the most difficult aspects of PA is reconciling the negative impact on your child! Who has said what about you? Does your child believe everything they hear? Will your child EVER know how much you truly love them? Want to see them? Want to spend time with them? Will they every realize how much you fought to see them? Will they know you sacrificed everything for an opportunity to be a parent to them? All to no avail!

This parent articulates the frightening power PA.

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SPAN Stop Parental Alienation Now,

#116, The Toll of PA

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The effects of PAS are felt every single second!  Of every single hour!   Of every single day!  There is no escape from the emotional turmoil!  The wretched toll on the soul permeates every aspect of the parents life.

This father perfectly expresses the profound impact of PAS on the alienated parent. 

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I don’t dream peacefully during this turmoil time.

I don’t smile gracefully, suit these tensed moments.

I feel no warmth when the sunlight touches my brow.

I want peace, because I’ve had a lifetime of war.

I want cuddles and kisses, tantrums and tears.

I want to pack lunch boxes and to do school runs.

When you know what’s best for your child and your being stopped, due to ones gain.

I know you look on this page often.

You are not welcome!

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Fathers That Care, March 28, 2015

#115, The Pain of PAS

A child follows in the footsteps of their parents!  

Perfect advice from a loving father to his son!

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I want to prepare my child to go a step further than me. The bench mark I set is realistic, with simple demands.

• Honour your Mother and Father
• Respect those around you
• Work hard and save
• Be true to yourself
• Live with no regrets
• Enjoy every moment of life
• I will invest all the good I have in you, so make me proud, my son……

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Father’s that Care, April 30, 2015

#114, Every Father

This mother shares the reality of divorce in that the child has TWO parents.  She outlines the devastation of alienation on the the child’s development and offers advice for parents going through a divorce!

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Children deserve the love and support of both parents.What I find quite funny as a parent (mother) who works with her ex to make sure that her child is loved, supported and so that my child never knows the feeling of not having both of us around, is this……..

Most alienators I know, go for the throat. They want pay back, control, they want to bleed the other parent financially dry. They don’t want the other parent to have a voice, to have any time with their child/children and they make it their goal to belittle, bad-mouth and tear down the character of the alienated parent.

So let me ask this, if I was bitter at my ex, if I wanted to prove a point, if I wanted to raise our child by myself and not let my ex have any relationship at all with ‘our’ child, why on earth would I try so hard to keep the ex in my life? Why on earth would I want his money? Why on earth would I constantly go him for financial help or go after property, material things and the constant battle of court?

Doesn’t make sense.

If an alienator was really smart, firstly they wouldn’t do what they do on a daily basis that constantly hurts many, and they certainly wouldn’t cry poor or accept any help from an ex they hate or feel is unfit right? The constant belittling, the constant using their children as weapons, unhealthy right? The one thing constant in their lives is their hate of themselves and their continued support in hating the ex (the alienated) How on earth does this make sense?

Alienators are WEAK – Period.

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#113, Who Wins in Alienation?